mimpi yang mati

sebelum apa-apa, aku tegaskan, aku memang maklum dan faham bahawa kita yang merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan.

i know. i know.

i never felt this down. like when my friends is complaining about this and that, i always tell them to be positive, that every clouds has silver linings, every problems has its own solution, its not the end of the world, oh c’mon that's normal! and some other motivating words from me.

but when it happens to me. yeah i mean me, myself, God its hard to accept. i’ve been planning about this like the whole half year. when i heard that my plan won’t be as what i plan, my brain can’t function well, my heart is another story. my heart pounded faster and faster. and my eyes, you know,tears. perkara yang saya tunggu-tunggu, yang saya letak seantero rasa dan tumpu saya ke itu, sedang perlahan-lahan mati. how i am able to accept. but i know i have to. today is such a long week. and last night was such a long night. i was like “no cinoi you are not breaking, you are tough, happy go lucky, and positive, this is not a big issue” i keep telling myself that. but myself was not listening. felt like throwing everything from the 3rd floor. cinoi is down!

and to make it worst, i left my phone at home today. perfect!

(sudah la sedang down, fon pula tiada di sisi, and have to work hard di ofis supaya tak ingat fon)

am looking forward to see the silver lining. i’ll tell you guys when i figure that out.

C